Donnie Darko: The Sequel ???

Of the posters that decorate the bland, white walls of my room I have three favorites; Jack Kerouac with a quote from On The Road at the bottom, SPIN Magazine's December 2006 cover of The Killers, and a Donnie Darko poster depicting a collage of characters within the ever-so-creepy image of Frank the Bunny.



Like most of the DD fan base, I never got the chance to catch the flick in theatres due to its very limited run, but got around to renting it from the neighborhood video store. I wound up watching it several times before I finally purchased the thing already. I would even go so far as to boldly consider myself a "hardcore" fan of this movie. Unlike those other "bros" who typically enjoy watching this movie after frisbee practice/Dave Matthews concert while smoking a blunt, I can recite scenes line-for-line, point out Frank's car driving past Donnie in the opening scene, and fully explain how the film was actually about time travel as revealed through the DD website.

Yes, I'm a huge geek...but at least I'm not listening to fucking Dave Matthews and wearing birkenstocks.


(Mommas, don't let your sons grow up to be frat boys...please.)

Naturally, I threw a shit fit when I heard news that there is a DD sequel is in the works. "HOLY SHIT, IS IT TRUE?!! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? WAS ANOTHER TANGENT UNIVERSE CREATED? BUT DONNY CAN"T LIVE! THE LONE RECIEVER MUST DIE!!" ...yadda yadda yadda, and other similar statements that, in the prescence of girls, will grant me zero chance of getting laid.

I threw an even bigger shit fit when I read the part that Richard Kelly,writer/director of the original DD, would have NO INVOLVEMENT in the sequel. "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!! YOU GODDAMN GREEDY HOLLYWOOD EXECS TRYING TO CAPITALIZE ON A FILM YOU ORIGINALLY CONSIDERED A MISTAKE..GO TO HELL AND CHOKE ON A DICK!!" or something else to that extent that will also not win me many female fans.

My only hope is that enough people complain about how horrible an idea this is that they eventually pull it during pre-production. The production company has titled the project, S. Darko as the story will take place seven years after Donnie's death and follow his younger sister, Samantha Darko, as an 18 year-old who witnesses bizarre visions while on a trip to Los Angeles. While this may very well be the truth, I can think of a certain four-letter word that may fit the bill more accurately.


(Jake: This sequel blows. Jena: Totally, no wonder no one else is here.
Frank the Bunny: Why are you wearing that stupid man sui....wait, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!!)