Dissection of Obsession: The Hills

Anyone remember when Rolling Stone wrote important articles about music culture?
How about when MTV played groundbreaking music videos?

Nope, neither do I.

Both companies have changed their formats drastically from their original inceptions and have focused their lenses toward the grand scheme that is pop culture. The two naturally find themselves conjoined in the latest RS issue featuring the eye-catching ladies of MTV's The Hills.


("dude,TOTAL erection................over that Death Cab review")

To say this show is a bit of a national obsession would be a bit of an understatement. Every Monday night at 10 pm people get hysterical over the life of Lauren Conrad and company - myself included I must admit. But why exactly is America transfixed on these Cali-girls who are barely of legal drinking age? Here's the breakdown:

1) West Coast Envy: Sprouting from the success of the now defunct The OC, the execs at MTV supplied the nations need to view rich and attractive teenagers who reside in the promised land of Southern California with shameless rip-off Laguna Beach (which The Hills was spun off of.) The majority of kids watching this show do not relate at all with these ideal circumstances and, thus, find joy in living vicariously through the shows central figures. Let's face it, these kids have grown-up in priviledge that most of us can only dream about. We all want to see how rich people are living...especially if they're easy on the eyes.

2) Everything's A Fucking Crisis: When life is relatively care-free, people will still start making a big deal out of the smallest shit. This is only amplified when around an environment of young adults where relationships can be their most tumultuous - high school drama gets streamlined through a stack of Marshall amplifiers.

If two girls from the Bronx hated each other as much as Heidi and Lauren supposedly do, then they would have clawed it out on the corner until both parties were satisfied with their pound of flesh (or handful of hair...girl fights are vicious). A dude like JustinBobby would be just another disheveled face in the crowd in Brooklyn instead of the shady outcast he's depicted to be. (granted he is a bit of a deuschebag..but then again, so are a lot of dudes from Bk.)

3) The LC Factor: Honestly, MTV got lucky as shit finding Lauren Conrad in the first installment of Laguna Beach; she easily comes off as the sanest person on reality tv history. (even though that doesn't say too much.) This girl probably has a higher approval rating than The Pope. Every girl I know in some way secretly aspires to live like LC either through admiration or jealousy. Sure she's a looker but so is EVERYONE else in SoCal; LC sets herself apart by being a voice of reason and for her on-par decision making which are functions most Orange County dolls seem incapable of. Sure she makes mistakes from time to time (choosing your bf over France, c'mon) but this only humanizes her in front of an audience that has seen her turn everything around her to gold.

Interning at Teen Vogue, being a star on MTV, having your on fashion line, being a celebrity for just having a camera crew film your life...ladies are in love with the very idea.However, let's not count out the dudes in this equation. Whenever a few buddies and I start playing the always interesting "ultimatum game" the question of, "LC or Audrina" is always posed. Guys will always say that Audrina is way hotter. Those nude pics were no joke...thank you to bad decisions. But they always chime in that they'd rather date LC since she has "more personality". (Heidi is never mentioned, regardless of how insane her figure is looking on that cover...scratch that, her face looks like a puppy that just shat itself.)