Daily Recap: Gobble Gobble Gobble

I seriously just had the BEST thanksgiving meal in almost a decade. I'd indulge you all about the details but I currently think I'm overdosing on tryptophan. Mmm delicious tryptophan.

Before I go, let me warn you...I heard Twilight sucked a big hard one. I'm not even going to bother to give it a chance and see it in theaters after all the first hand disaster accounts I heard. If you want to see an excellent vampire flick with a bit of romance (and not the sappy "Iwanttobewithyouforeversoattackmyneck" kind)check out the Swedish "Let The Right One In" in theaters now. That is unless you just want to eyefuck Kristen Stewart for over an hour.

Resurrecting the Blogosaurus

I'm back! Sorry for the hiatus but I've been caught up in a swirling vortex of continuous fun and debauchery these last few months. Okay, perhaps I am exaggerating slightly but things have been quite busy for me since the last time I posted.

The transition from summer to fall has brought a lot to my table. For one, I started a new job during August: You can find me in the Men's department of Urban Outfitters located on 72nd and Broadway. So far no complaints - flexible hours, great co-workers, and a sizable discount. And most importantly, an actual PAYCHECK! Hooray!! I can afford nice things now!..err..sorta.
Moving from the unpaid internships of the previous three years to an actual paying gig has resulted in me squandering what little income I get - mostly on clothes, show tix, and drinks downtown. Damn, drinks in NYC are PRICEY to state the obvious. Seriously, my checking account has more ups-and-downs than someone with bi-polar.

Aside from the new job I've started my fifth year at Fordham University. Yes, my fifth fall semester...ughh. To put it into perspective here's a little anectdote: I'm in my music history class and I ask the people surrouding me what year they are in. Mostly all of them reply "freshman" as to which I respond, "Sooo...when I was starting college...you were in eighth grade." Whoa, total mindfuck right there. Here's an illustration I found that best captures my current state of mind at school:



Anyways, there's a short summary of what I've been up to all these months. Much thanks to a certain individual I talked to at this years Fordham Homecoming for praising my efforts in the blogosphere. To hear that people out there actually enjoy the stuff I'm writing about let alone actually readingit was kind of mindblowing. Taking time away from the blog has allowed me to view its strenghts and flaws more clearly than so from now on I'll start updating more regularly and with new & improved content. Keep on the lookout for some more interesting tidbits all you blade runners, until next time...

Shit I Want: Vintage Hall & Oates Concert Tee

Fuck I love Hall & Oates.

Fuck I love vintage baseball tees.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

:deep breath:

okay, im good now.

Non-Sequitur: Chuck Norris Jokes Are Still Amusing

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Non-Sequitur: Early Christmas List

It's never too early to start thinking about Christmas. Came across this while surfing the net and except for the Brown Capri pants appears to be a pretty solid bunch of material shit one would want to buy.

Dancing Mascots

Said the Whale - "This City's a Mess"

Pieces of the People We Love: Crazy Office Guy

http://view.break.com/513310 - Watch more free videos

He's kinda frightening and probably ape-shit crazy but I love this guy. Who hasn't wanted to just destroy the shit out of their workplace every now and then? Nine to five can be pretty rough and, judging by this guy's reaction, those stupid little squishy stress balls just weren't cutting it. Not sure why he's so angry but its safe to say that he's having one BAD fucking day. Makes the scene in Office Space where they take a bat to the fax machine look like a goddamn tea party.

Sketchyyyy Tunes: The Bloodsugars

(HI!!!)

The Bloodsugars are possibly Brooklyn's best kept secret. Though the quartet have received favorable reviews in publications such as L Magazine, Village Voice, and Time Out New York the rest of the scene has seemingly failed to catch up as of yet. With only a few thousand plays on the band's myspace, a relatively small number when put into perspective, the quartet are still stuck in the roots of being a quintessential "up-and-coming" (figurative pun not intended) band. However, the group seem poised to light up an ever fickle blogosphere in the near future with their slick brand of pop that highlights the best that the 80's had to offer - minus all the coke.

Tracks of their EP titled "BQEP" (haha clever - if you don't get it you live in the boonies) are savory little treats that are sure to spike your insulin levels. "Bloody Mary" is a pristine dance hall number that somehow manages to name drop Attila the Hun while it snakes through blue-eyed soul vocals, 80's inspired synth, and a handclap backbeat. Lead single "Purpose Was Again" struts at a fidgety pace while "Cinderella" oozes the reggae dub of The Police.

When not rubbing shoulders with Paul Simon, the band translate their sound into a kickass live show. Last week I had the pleasure of watching these guys perform at the Mercury Lounge for their EP release party where I drank a bit too much and then joined my friends in an uncontrollable swing-dance party that had swayed over the crowd. It was a pop-infused celebration where good times were excessive in both quantity and quality, once again, much like a coke-free 80's.





listen to The Bloodsugars

Sketchy Rating: For people who know that Nintendo is still the shit. DUCKHUNT MOTHAFUCKA!!!

Screwed: Ouch

They say this was caused by a drunk driver in Mexico but my theory is that the person behind the wheel finally had enough of these Lance Armstrong wannabe's.

Non-Sequitur: Punched!

I remember the days when I actually took the time to watch Saturday Night Live every week. Nothing like a dose of live sketch comedy to catapult you through the weekend. However, as I've gotten older I've realized that my Saturdays nights are usually spent doing more important things such as choosing between Olde English or a sixer of Natty Light, avoiding being impaled by a guido's blowout, or complaining at the bar about all the hot girls dating really really fugly dudes.

Thankfully we have Youtube so this clip can be shared with the masses. Imagine how much balls it takes to bring this up in an idea drafting session for the show. This is the kind of thing you think about while dazing out a window and just as you begin to chuckle you snap back to reality out of embarassed self-awareness. Thank God for balls..or insanity.

Hater Nation: Low-Flow Toilets

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about going green. But the genius who invented this thing should get a kick in the goddamn face. I understand the logic, "7 gallons of water per flush is so wasteful when only 1.6 is required" and the fact that most of these actually tend to work well. However, when I have to stare at my morning shit still hanging around at 2 pm I could care less about "logic", "effeciency", or "the environment".

For any of you tree huggers that think I'm just being an ignorant jerk right now I have an offer. I'll continue using this stupid thing (not like I have much of a choice) without a hint of complaint under one condition: I get to shit on your chest once a month for a year. The satisfaction I would get from crapping on a hippie would definitely make up for me wondering whether it'll be a "good" or "bad" day at the bathroom. That is unless your already into that kind of stuff and in that case go find some endangered gorilla to do that for you.

Shit I Want: The Boondocks - Complete Second Season

Yes! Even more of my favorite precocious ten year-old, Huey Freeman, as he satires modern day events, black culture, and politics all within the realm of the suburbs. I still remember breezing through the pages of the strip collection in A Right To Be Hostile while leaving all my required reading for English class untouched. Who needs Mark Twain when you've got a staunch modern day humorist such as Aaron McGruder right in front of you?

The DVD comes out on June 10th...huge afro not included.

Hater Nation: Ed Hardy

I don't care if this is the brand to wear if you're into Sailor Jerry tattoos, Ed Hardy has become more annoying than the douches who were wearing trucker hats a few years ago. Besides the fact of their ridiculously pretentious pricing ( $70-$100 each) most of the people I see wearing these fall under the catagory of Asshole, Moron, or Dipshit. The company has gone the extra-mile in douchebaggery by producing their own line of water (sound familiar Mr. Trump?). Wearing one of these is the equivalent to tattooing a giant dick on your forehead...a highly overpriced dick.



(cases in point)

Pieces of the People We Love: Michelle Nolan

Michelle Nolan (or Michelle Darosa, she's married now boys) is nothing short of a goddess. This demure brunette has been hemming the keyboards of Straylight Run for the the last few years with brother John Nolan (formerly of Taking Back Sunday). Her sweet, paper-thin vocals across the band's two albums and ep were the perfect foil to John's yelps and crackling voice. Aside from her artistic ability she's been giving legions of emo boys (and girls to for that matter) a reason to gawk at shows with her Emmy Rossum-esque beauty.

With that said, it seems that the Michelle era in Straylight Run has reached its end as the 27 year-old has decided to pursue a solo career as revealed in a post via the band's myspace:

I wanted to let you know that after a lot of thought and discussion with the band, i have decided that i am going to take some time off from Straylight Run to work on a solo record.


It was a difficult decision to make and please know that i have enjoyed all my time in Straylight Run and i loved meeting all of you through the years and hope to continue to see you in the future! John, Will, Shaun and i are all still close friends and we look forward to playing together again some day. Straylight Run is not breaking up. The guys will be continuing on without me and this month they are recording some new songs for you all! In the mean time i will be working on my new project and i will keep you informed as things start to come together. Thank you so much for your support and your understanding.



Love, Michelle

Knowing how integral she was to the band,especially on tracks such as "Toolsheds and Hottubs", it's most definitely sad to see her go. Best of luck to Michelle in the future.


(impending sausage fest)

Shit I Want:: 50's Era Hulk Fitted

Technically this shouldn't be included in Shit I Want because I already purchased this lil' diddy. Can you blame me for buying so compulsively? Usually I'm not a fitted hat kind of guy but looking at this thing was like a slap in the face of awesome. I think I now know what people mean by "love at first sight". Got a little jealous when I saw some kid wearing the same hat at the Filipino Independence Day parade the other day but it quickly dissipated when I realized how much better it looks on me than him. Forgive the vanity but its true - I guess this is how women cope with seeing other women wearing clothing items they own.

Anyway, this shit is so hot I'm actually looking forward to having some bad hair days.

Daily Recap: Return of the Sketchy

The hiatus is FINALLY over. The past week has been an exercise in hardcore R&R with an endless number of graduation parties, a few days tanning in Ocean City, and just generally meeting up with old friends and boozing it up in tribute to the start of summer. With all that being said this is more of a Weekly Recap than anything.

Grad Parties: Even though I myself am not graduating everyone I know pretty much did which meant that there were parties up the wazoo! So basically you get the enjoyment of being around a bunch of your friends plus tons of free food. Ultimately though, these parties are defined by one singular characteristic: enough free booze to kill a herd of elephants.



Ocean City, NJ: My general opinion about New Jersey is that I hate it. Not for any specific reason other than I have a pretentious disdain for the state (at least I'm honest). However, a buddy of mine for the last two years has invited me down to hang out in a house his family rents out along the beach and when I find myself caught up in a gentle ocean breeze I think to myself, "Jersey ain't all that bad sometimes". Since I was drained from the grad parties I kept drinking to a minimum - except the morning I had a glass of wine to accompany my bowl of Lucky Charms; don't you dare judge me. Since drinking was mostly out of the equation my time was mostly spent applying copious amounts of tanning oil which resulted in...



....ouch. I may be in pain BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT PALE!! Yes, I'm fully aware of how pathetic that sounds.

With the rest of my down time I started reading Toby Young's How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, a memoir of a British journalists quest to take on the New York City social scene after nailing a job at Vanity Fair only to watch it dismantle in a flurry of hilarious blunders and ill-judged decisions.



It's a fun summer read so far but if text isn't your thing be on the look out for the film adaptation starring Simon Pegg (dude from Shuan of the Dead, Hot Fuzz). From what I've heard it isn't an accurate portrayal of the book but more of an inspired interpretation. But knowing Pegg's track record for awesome films and an interesting assortment of a supporting cast including Megan Fox, Kirsten Dunst, and Gillian Anderson (Scully from X-Files!!) the film is geared to please.



Thats all for now. I'll try to make sure I don't wait an entire week before putting up another post. Peace out Girl Scout.

Sketchyyyy Tunes: Apes and Androids

I remember the first time I ever heard David Bowie's "Space Odyssey". I was about nine and my father would walk around the apartment singing "Can you hear me Major Tom, can you hear me Major Tom, can you heeeeeeeeeeeeeere am I floating in a tin can". (Believe me, this seemed completely normal at that age.) However, something about the spatial lyrics and detoured melody caught my attention, enough so to tug on my father's shirt-tail and ask him about it. Needless to say, hearing the track for the first time through a pair of stellar headphones is quite a mind bending experience - especially for a nine-year old. This is a feeling that is almost impossible to duplicate under any circumstance, but when I heard Blood Moon from Apes and Androids, I felt like that little boy again with his mouth agape and frantic eyes skimming along with the audio roller coaster that was flooding my senses.


("On our planet, it rains confetti. Our planet wins.")

AA are a mindfuck of bleeps and blips, shooting star hymns, and a gaggle of other instruments and effects that may very well include the kitchen sink (a futuristic kitchen sink that is); all of which mesh to provide the perfect pop soundtrack straight from Mars. With a name like Apes and Androids it's a given that you're going to sound a bit out-there, yet the sound these fellas produce makes the Klaxons seem like Woody Guthrie.

First off, the intro track, "Blood Moon 1" sounds like the opening scene in E.T. where the mothership lands in a secluded forest. You don't necessarily have to be Scully and Mulder in order for that to get your nipples hard. Tracks "Nights of the Week", "Sweetest Secret", and "Radio" are dance hall anthems for the year 3072. Though each track is unique in its own way, "Golden Prize" is a clear stand-out with it's hypnotic hip-hop borrowed beat pulsating before breaking into a Middle Eastern soundscape that could very well charm snakes with its crescendoing falsettos.

The Brooklyn-based band attempt to create a sci-fi ambiance in their blistering live shows comparable to their studio sound with a vortex of visual aids including mask-wearing cheerleaders, gigantic silver skulls, and even a Korean drum circle. As if these obvious eye-catchers weren't enough, the members themselves frequently perform donning neon colored leggings, sleazy tank tops, and glittery makeup a la Ziggy Stardust. But pervading through their glitz and glam aesthetic are tunes that are as fun and original as they are ambitious. I fucking love being nine again.





Sketchy Rating: Optimus Prime made you a badass mix-tape...and now you want him to DJ your next party.

Vampires, Werewolves, and Ghosts....Oh My!!!

So a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost share a flat in England. Apologies if you're waiting for a punch-line but there is none. This is just the plot for the BBC's new sci-fi drama "Being Human" where three twenty-somethings try to go about living relatively "normal" lives despite their unique makeup. The pilot aired in mid-February and due to its popularity was commissioned last month for a six-episode run which will air, most likely, towards the end of the year. I watched the entire episode on YouTube last night and it totally blew me away; whether you're a fan of the supernatural or not, "Being Human" will leave you wishing you shared a flat with these spooks.

Here's Part 1 of 7 of the pilot (if you want to watch the rest just search "Being Human Part 2" and so on):



Side Note: For those of you watching all the way until the end, in part 7 there's a hilarious bit about Harry Potter and perspectives on the different houses within Hogwarts. Damn those clever Brits.

Sketchyyyy Films: The Cult of Sincerity

So much for the hiatus eh? Anyway, this is the best film about New York twenty-somethings I've seen since Mutual Appreciation. You can view the entire thing for free below. Please register at amiestreet.com/cultofsincerity so the filmmakers get paid though...its totally free and you even get two free songs - woohoo!!

Tired of the bored, snobby, passionless mindset of the hipster generation? Well, so were filmmakers Adam Browne and Brendan Choisnet, so much so that they were inspired to create The Cult of Sincerity. Don’t worry, there are no Kool-Aid drinkers or matching uniforms in this movie. Instead, The Cult of Sincerity is a film that chronicles a twentysomething named Joseph in his quest to stop being cynical and start giving back to the world around him.
- Paste Magazine

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out: A Graphical Representation

One last bit before I go....


more song chart memes

I think that even Morrissey would chuckle after this one.


(Beneath the somber expression there's a chuckle occurring, I swear!)

Daily Recap: Senior Ball

I may have to take a hiatus for a few days with it being Senior Week and all at Fordham. Last night's Senior Ball was better than I ever could have imagined - minus the whole "open" bar repeatedly closing down every ten minutes. The dance floor was hot and so was everyone present looking downright snazzy (yes, snazzy) in their outfits. There's too much to recap but here are a few highlights from my night:

• swigging some dude's Red Bull/Vodka/Natty Light concoction.
• slow dancing with a friend with no one else on the floor because we were far too drunk to try swing dancing.
• successfully taking a bottle of Stoli and pouring two glasses full before being caught.
• dancing with characters that have made up my four years of college experience.
• handing out donuts at McFadden's.
• getting a Ram Van to Webster Cafe and back.
• setting off the alarm to Keating's rooftop in attempt to reach the clock tower and the sprint that followed.
  
• entering a completly dark, sweltering hot Mugz at 6 am.
• nursing a hangover with coffee at Pete's Cafe.
• And then there was this great shot to cap it all off....

On that note, it's time for some R&R. Don't miss me too much.

Arcade Fire to Score Richard Kelly's Next Film

Arcade Fire are arguably the best band on earth. The material on 2004's Funeral and 2007's Neon Bible are grandiose in composition, leaning almost towards the cinematic. Richard Kelly must agree since he will be bringing the Montreal champer-pop ensemble on board to score his next film, The Box starring Cameron Diaz and James Mardsen. The film is an adaptation of a 1970's short story called, "Button, Button" by Richard Matheson.

The synopsis of is film as follows on IMDB:

Norma and Arthur Lewis, a suburban couple with a young child, receive a simple wooden box as a gift, which bears fatal and irrevocable consequences. A mysterious stranger, delivers the message that the box promises to bestow upon its owner $1 million with the press of a button. But, pressing this button will simultaneously cause the death of another human being somewhere in the world; someone they don't know. With just 24 hours to have the box in their possession, Norma and Arthur find themselves in the cross-hairs of a startling moral dilemma and must face the true nature of their humanity.


Kelly, of Donnie Darko acclaim, has had a few disappointments as of late. Between the critical failure of the over-the-top Southland Tales and the Donnie Darko sequel, S. Darko going into production without his involvement, Kelly needs a booster to his credibility like idol contestant David Archuleta needs emancipation. Though attaching Arcade Fire to his newest project may not exactly legitimize a return-to-form for the director, it will at least ensure that the score will be pretty awesome even if the film goes totally bust. Personally, I'm hoping for a film as smart and brilliant as the band that will be doing its soundtrack.


("Hmm Arcade Fire score eh? It's no six-foot tall metaphysical spirit in a bunny suit but it's a start!")

Can't Believe I Missed The Rosebuds

School finals are a bitch. At the end of the semester everyone throws a big shit about how they have to "study for this" and "do a paper for that", but in all truth, all we wind up doing is doing a half-ass job at whatever it is we need to get done. During this finals week I've been forced to do my fair share of half-assing, but the thing that annoys me the most is what I've missed out on during this time. Other than the Feist concert that I blogged about earlier, I've missed a multitude of worthy shows, specifically The Rosebuds last Saturday at Bowery Ballroom. Thankfully they just wrapped up recording a new record (!!) and will most likely hit the touring trail once again when the record is released. Finals or no finals, there's no chance in hell I'm missing out on this party again.



check out their blog where they discuss hot fudge sundaes, letters to Frank Black, and meeting Hakeem Olajuwon among other juicy tidbits.

listen to The Rosebuds

Joy Division: Is Nothing Sacred?

Odds are you like Joy Division. Whether you've had Unknown Pleasures embedded in your music library for quite some time, caught Anton Corbijn's excellent tribute film to the band Control, or occasionally throw a dance party where "Love Will Tear Us Apart" hits the speakers around 2 AM, everyone can agree that Joy Division (and New Order for that matter) were/are pretty awesome. Between Ian Curtis macabre yet beautiful lyrics and Peter Hooks' adventurous bass lines its really no surprise that these guys hit such a wide audience years after their demise due to Curtis' tragic suicide.

The only problem with such universal appeal is that even the fucking crazies dig you. No, I'm not talking about those lunatics who start yelling about Interpol stealing Joy Divisions sound. I'm talking about dudes that listen to really bad metal (because there is, in fact, a thing as good metal) and other cracked out German industrialist shit that would even make Charles Manson say, "Seriously, lighten up buddy." Thanks to YouTube I've been able to find a prime example....and it seems he's hell bent on butchering Joy Division and one of the greatest songs of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, Ian Curtis has just rolled over.


(...I have nothing witty to say...just that, I hate you...a lot.)

Donnie Darko: The Sequel ???

Of the posters that decorate the bland, white walls of my room I have three favorites; Jack Kerouac with a quote from On The Road at the bottom, SPIN Magazine's December 2006 cover of The Killers, and a Donnie Darko poster depicting a collage of characters within the ever-so-creepy image of Frank the Bunny.



Like most of the DD fan base, I never got the chance to catch the flick in theatres due to its very limited run, but got around to renting it from the neighborhood video store. I wound up watching it several times before I finally purchased the thing already. I would even go so far as to boldly consider myself a "hardcore" fan of this movie. Unlike those other "bros" who typically enjoy watching this movie after frisbee practice/Dave Matthews concert while smoking a blunt, I can recite scenes line-for-line, point out Frank's car driving past Donnie in the opening scene, and fully explain how the film was actually about time travel as revealed through the DD website.

Yes, I'm a huge geek...but at least I'm not listening to fucking Dave Matthews and wearing birkenstocks.


(Mommas, don't let your sons grow up to be frat boys...please.)

Naturally, I threw a shit fit when I heard news that there is a DD sequel is in the works. "HOLY SHIT, IS IT TRUE?!! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? WAS ANOTHER TANGENT UNIVERSE CREATED? BUT DONNY CAN"T LIVE! THE LONE RECIEVER MUST DIE!!" ...yadda yadda yadda, and other similar statements that, in the prescence of girls, will grant me zero chance of getting laid.

I threw an even bigger shit fit when I read the part that Richard Kelly,writer/director of the original DD, would have NO INVOLVEMENT in the sequel. "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!! YOU GODDAMN GREEDY HOLLYWOOD EXECS TRYING TO CAPITALIZE ON A FILM YOU ORIGINALLY CONSIDERED A MISTAKE..GO TO HELL AND CHOKE ON A DICK!!" or something else to that extent that will also not win me many female fans.

My only hope is that enough people complain about how horrible an idea this is that they eventually pull it during pre-production. The production company has titled the project, S. Darko as the story will take place seven years after Donnie's death and follow his younger sister, Samantha Darko, as an 18 year-old who witnesses bizarre visions while on a trip to Los Angeles. While this may very well be the truth, I can think of a certain four-letter word that may fit the bill more accurately.


(Jake: This sequel blows. Jena: Totally, no wonder no one else is here.
Frank the Bunny: Why are you wearing that stupid man sui....wait, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!!)

Awkward as Fuck - The Kids Aren't Alright

When I was googling images of "making out" for my Sketchy Rating on The Pains of Being Pure At Heart, I came across one of the most awkward things I've ever seen on the internet. On Wikihow, a site much like a Wikipedia composed of "How-to" guides, they have a tutorial on making out. The thing thats so creepy about this is that they're aiming it directly toward young kids with the title, "How to Make Out for the First Time". If that line alone doesn't make you cringe then you were most likely born without a filter preventing you from being an embarrassment in public.

A few of the articles' painful highlights are excerpted below. For extra-cringe factor, imagine one of those dirty, old perverts on Dateline's To Catch A Predator narrating these:

• - For girls only: Hold onto his head and slowly and lightly move your hands to the back of his head. Rub your hands through his hair and down his shirt. Grab his biceps if you feel confident and give it a squeeze while kissing him. It will turn him on fast.
• - For guys only: Wrap your arms firmly around her and rub up and down her back (or lower back if she responds happily.
• Compliment your partner on how good he or she is at kissing. Not only a confidence booster but probably also a great encouragement for more!
• Be assured that you can now make out without fear. Once the first time is over, there's no need to sweat it anymore. After a while try something new like exploring new things.

The creepy redundancy and vagueness of the line "after a while try something new like exploring new things" lets you know that this sentence was either written by some 13 year-old kid trying to assert his coolness by putting his two-cents in or a 40-something guy named Ned who lives in a camper next to a gas station.




Oh, but wait, there's even MORE awkwardness! Here are some posts from under the Discussion: Make Out for First Time forum.

- "I have made out 6 times this week thank you so much i am a pro now."

- "well i think i have made out before. like is there such a thing as making out without using your tounge? like just kinda sucking on their lower lip while they suck on the upper one.is that considered making out too?"

- "dude thnx alot, im going out with my girlfriend for 2 weeks now and were so attracted to one another that were already making out, best place was in a dressing room at a mall, cant bring her to my house cause of my parents :("

- "how old shld be if i wanna make out"

Seriously, was that last post from a kid or one of those cats with poor grammar from I Can Has Cheezburger?!!

John Mayer Is An Asshole and We Love It

I'm not gonna lie, I was all about John Mayer's Room for Squares album back in my high school days. This was mostly due in part to the fact that 15 year-old boys have the same emotional capacity of girls among the same age; this explains why high school is such a fucked up time for everyone. Plus, I totally got a boner from looking at that chick in the "My Body Is a Wonderland" video.

Thankfully I grew up and evolved out of my frail sensibilities and, to a certain extent, so has Mayer. Everyone's heard about his forays into comedy within the last few years, whether he decides to interject his sets with ten minute rants or makes an impromptu appearance at a local comedy club to share his thoughts on sluts, terrorism, and useage of the "N" word, it's evident that Mayer is trying to destroy his squeaky-clean persona and reveal his true sleazeball self a la Bob Saget. Honestly, if I had to be hounded for years to repeatedly sing a song about moms loving daughters in front of estrogen packed stadiums I would try toughening up my cred by upping my asshole factor as well.

The latest installment of this much more interesting Mayer is a Judd Apatow directed short about how he writes a song found on Stereogum. Look for a surprise cameo from a hot, blonde Hollywood startlet - and no, it's not Jessica Simpson.



Side Note: Our favorite part is when he says, "If I can't get the girl,why don't I just tell her I'm John Mayer?". Now thats quality sir.

Sketchyyyy Tunes: The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

As a band that's only existed for little more than over a year, New York four-piece The Pains of Being Pure at Heart have been busy winning the hearts of music critics everywhere with their cheery brand of shoegaze, dream-pop.


(white fender jag, a Belle & Sebastian t-shirt, Asian keyboardist trying to peek through her bangs....when did my wet dreams start materializing?)

Sure there is definitely a good deal of My Bloody Valentine and Jesus and Mary Chain here constituting for the fuzzy distortion and soft, distant vocals that cue a sense of familiarity but there are elements here that outshine the C86 influence. The nail-gun rapid fire of the snare drum in "Doing All the Things That Wouldn't Make Your Parent's Proud" sets the backdrop for jangling guitars that persistently chug along at a Ramones-esque pace while well placed keys sparkle from verse to verse. Contender for the best song name I've heard in years, "This Love Is Fucking Right!", which oddly resembles Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!'s "In This Home On Ice", twitters its way through fields of gold as breathy vocals deliver a pearl of an indie-pop melody.

The Pains of Being Pure At Heart create music exuding the innocence of youth and conjures images of a lovestruck couple running hand-in-hand towards a sunlit horizon. With tunes that rival the ever-so-sleek cheekiness of Belle & Sebastian, it won't be long until the Twee set discover their new favorite band. Prepare yourself for sloppy make outs in the back of Cake Shop.



listen to The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

Side Note: Speaking of which, these guys also get major kudos for repping the shit out of Cake Shop on their website and myspace. They'll be playing there on June 26th...to quote Jerry McGuire, "who's coming with me??!!!"


Sketchy Rating: WARNING - exposure to this band while in the company of the opposite sex may result in in sloppy make outs, petting, and/or pregnancy.

Shit I Want - The Bongo Headphone

For the last three months I've been streamlining all my tunes through a pair of chrome blue Bose headphones almost completely wrapped in duct tape. Kind of a bitch knowing that these things could just fall apart at any minute especially after having tasted it's superior audio capabilities. Yes, I do need to hear everything: bass lines, drum lines, and sometimes the sound of people doing coke lines. That's why I want this baby.



The Bongo Headphone from WeSC. This shit made me wet my pants. These headphones are so pretty I might just spend a few hours staring at them before I ever get around to trying them on. I imagine it somewhat like being placing a halo around your ears.

Sketchyyyy Tunes: Black Kids

Okay, I know. I am WAY late to be hopping on the Black Kids bandwagon. Especially after a dozen people mentioned how good they were to me months ago. To be totally honest, I downloaded their Wizard of Ahhhs EP and none of it's four tracks really struck a chord with me. Maybe I just wasn't very responsive that particular day or perhaps I was distracted by the million other things I attempt to do with music blaring from my laptop but for the most part Black Kids was a "heard it, over it" type of deal.

That is until I listened to "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend", their latest single, vibrating off the walls of Other Music today. Holy crap is that a fantastic pop song. Lead singer Reggie Youngblood's voice crackles like Robert Smith but on a high-dosage lithium prescription. Extra points added for the badass name as well. What I also failed to realize, until I viewed the songs video earlier today, is how young these band members are. These kids are Be Your Own Pet type of young - early twenties at most - and just as, if not more, awesome. However, unlike the brash garage rock of BYOP, Black Kids throw lo-fi guitars with 80's style dance synth in ways that are old and familiar yet uniquely their own. It's no surprise to me now why everyone was flipping a shit about this group way back.

There's two things that should be learned here: a) always follow up on a band that all your friends are telling you about because you will feel like a complete moron if they're right and b) Black Kids are real frakkin good...believe the hype.

("I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend")

Sketchy Rating: Makes the kids lose their shit.